::::: : the wood : davidrobins.net

A kind of acceptance

News, Baby ·Sunday April 7, 2019 @ 13:02 EDT (link)

It's my site; I'll talk about my emotions if I like, and even if both of my readers (hi!) got together they'd have a hard time stopping me. :-)

Honey covered the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) in one of the classes she took for her psych degree; and they emphasized that not everyone goes through all the stages, or necessarily in order; we used to joke to the contrary.

I'm sure I'm not done with all the rest, but I am trying to come to a sort-of acceptance. There are many things to wrestle with, some covered in previous posts.

One of the hardest things is not knowing why she ran off (and she is unwilling to talk about it). I addressed various considerations in previous post "Looking for meaning". I'll go with what is likely or known: she was unhappy, she left. A Christian should not continue in sin like this, and it is reasonable to say, "Let the unbelieving spouse depart" and to recognize that I am "not under bondage", that is, free to enter into another relationship and eventually remarry if the Lord will. While I am free to do that, I have no intention of rushing toward it but rather lean on God and his timing.

I am still wearing my ring, because I do not want this. But it's not my choice. I have said before: I never expected when I got married, especially to a supposed Christian, that she would decide to destroy our family one day; I never expected she would try to take my son away; and I never expected her to try to steal from me what she had not earned. And yet she has and she is. (She, and her father, have both claimed she "does not care about money"; we'll see if that's at all true, or if she steals all the law allows.)

For now, my priority is my son David Geoffrey Robins: bringing him home if possible, but if not (it is sick, but kidnapping may convey legal advantage), ensuring I can spend as much time with him as possible and that he is raised "in the discipline and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Church, small group, prayer, and study of the scriptures through our reading plan (we are going through the New Testament with a YouVersion plan) keep me grounded. In all I will strive to be upright (ʼορθος).